I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
