Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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