I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
