Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
