Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
