I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
