I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
