How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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