Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
