you guys were way drunker than both of me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
