My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
