You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
