I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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