grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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