I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
