Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
