also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
