so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
