im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
