He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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