im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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