If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
