my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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