you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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