I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
