Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
