I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
