One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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