i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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