at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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