so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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