I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
