Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
