She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
