Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize