yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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