I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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