apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
