I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
