I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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