just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
