i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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