So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
