Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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