On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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