Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
