I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
