I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I would fuck him just for his dog
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
