I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
