The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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