Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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