i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
