i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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