I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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