you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
