The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
