No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
