My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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