i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
