Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I love you. Go after that dick
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
