Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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