ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
