but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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