bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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