It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
false alarm. still invincible.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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