Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
