3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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