When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
